She's a Heavy Feeder!

That's my wife...the heavy feeder. Tonight we celebrated my college-grad bro's birthday. We ate at Claim Jumper. (For those unfamilar with the restaurant it's servings are enormous).It's laughable how big the servings are...hence Fat America...and my wife...she has been donned a patriot.
After dinner we ordered dessert(which was a given but unnecessary). Christine ordered the biggest desert on the menu. When it came out there was a hush over the restaurant. My wifes dessert was worthy of the popparazzi, and they were there...shooting thre digital cameras as if we were on the red carpet of food. (really it was just my family and some restraurant guests, but it was a moment of blinding lights). As her desert arrived she bowed in shame for her "night-cap" was wider than her shoulders and about 1 foot deep. 1 layer ice cream topped with 10 inches of an eclair, covered in chocolate, surrounded by 2 cans of whipped cream. No one has ever tried to defeat the "eclair" alone...until now.
Many laughed. Many laughed in her face. Many laugh and pointed. People walking by stopped to take a picture of the "heay feeder". Comments like the following where heard;
"that' ridiculous."
"Wow. Thats a big desert for such a litte girl."
"That could feed all the homeless in Phoenix."
"Is that a birthday cake?"
"She must be a heavy feeder" (whispered by on-onlookers)
Yes, I know...it was shameful. And my wife was ashamed. I have never seen such a dessert, nor a reaction from an entire restraurant, nor my wife more embarassed. It was a priceless monumental moment.

Food and Finals

I have been full for like the last week. I mean FULL. I didn't eat or drink anything yesterday...that may not be healthy but I feel better today. we have been eating crazy protions for the past couple days. It is my father in laws birthday. Hence all the food. It is also my brothers birthday. Speaking of him..
I talked to my mom the other day, she was all sad because my brother is graduating from college and he implied to her that she wasn't welcome to come support him. It's one of the meanest things I have seen him do. Misery loves company and he is miserable right now. And when he wants others to feel his pain he goes for the jugular. He is having a hard time right now. The kid has a golden ticket thru life. He lives like a king. He has managed to scheme our parents into paying for everything including luxury items his entire college career. Now, he is about to graduate with no plans. He is in a big panic-life-let-me-down mindset. I feel for him a little bit because I remember when I graduated and how unnerving it was for me. But his problem is greater....he may finally loose his golden ticket. There is no way the poor guy could adapt to a real world income and survive, especially on his own. I see a great fall coming... He is like a grown tree with no roots and the wind is coming....

Serranos and Cold Stone

So we spent the day with my in-laws yesterday. I really enjoyed the whole time. crazy, I know.Of course mass portions of food are involved. Between lunch and ice cream a few hours later I am really full. I am still full. It is sunday afternoon more than 24hrs later and I am still not hungry. Something is wrong.
This week at church was the reliefs team first sunday to do worship all by themselves. It went really well. I am such a proud leader.
This week is finals at seminary so my mind is about to blow...Summer school starts in 2 weeks and I am not too excited about that.

Just letting the pants drop

"you know... sometimes when your alone in the bathroom...you just let your pants fall...". yeah....because they do that if I'm not keeping my hands on them. A "friend" of mine who weighs in at 4 hun-do told me when he is going pee in the urinal sometimes his pants fall down and he just lets it ride. How would you feel if you walked into the bathroom with a pantless man standing there...gross. On another gross note...my wife tells me she farts more now than she ever did before. That somehow I have liberated her to farting freedom...gross.
In other news...our dog got his rabbies shot today. He put on a tuff front, but going back to the pound...he was scared. He put on those sad puppy dog eyes. He thought he was going back. Not a bad idea if I say so myself. Actually, he does go lay down at night when we tell him it's bedtime and he has made less "messes" in the house. Kudos to frances!

We are Rich!

Yesterday I found out that our house (that doesn't exist yet)continues to go thru the roof! It's nice appreciating 10 grand a week. so freaking crazy! If you have not bought a house yet...do so especailly in Arizona, the market is unreal.

Not much is going on...we went out for ice cream last night, Chris did noy sway from her favorite mint mint chocolate chip. There is the world largest icee cream cake festival going on next tuesday at the ice cream store...I believe we will be supporting that.

The burb got fixed. Found out it was just the battery. Easy Fix.

Chruuuch is good, finals this next week, wife and dog good. good bye.

Big Screens & Weddings

My father in law just got a 50 inch widescreen. Its big, but I wasn't impressed as I thought I would be with it. (I am coming back from a break) I just finished giving tech support to my Father in Law on how to change the source from DVD to Cable. We will see how this goes...

We went to our friend Chucks wedding today. It was God-aweful Hot! One of the grooms man had to take a break and sit down during the wedding because he was about to pass out. My wifes butt was all sweaty and sticking to the seat, so we were constantly taking care of her business.

Our desktop is now on wireless free internet! I just stole a $100 usb wireless adapter from my father in law (who doesn't use it) for payment for wireing his tv. So happy to be online!

church went well. We seem to get better every week! Afterwards one of the elders of the church brought us over to their house and made us lunch. I told his wife that christine likes organic food when they asked. So, they went to Phoenix (about an hour away) to go to a organic food store. They made us the most awesome lunch. Unfortunaly every thing was heavy on the tomato side...Chris didn't have the heart to tell them she didn't like tomatoes after they did so much. So she ate tomatoes.

U2 Sucka pt.2

u2
Originally uploaded by James Walker.

the concert was mega cool! Bono showed his thespian side by crawlin around on the floor, taking reflective breaks on stage, wearing a bandana that had the muslim moon, the star of david, and the cross on it while repeating the line, "do you know what is on my mind" He tipped his rosary for the pope, and marched like a solider. He is an artist. The Edge was awesome changin up the licks of alot of classic U2 and it sounded great! Christine did enjoy it, although I do not think she became a believer. She took a camera in a took a bunch of pictures.

U2 Sucka

Yes, tonight I will enjoy my evening with U2. For those who have not sacrficed their right leg to see U2, you my friend, are missing out. It will change your whole deal. I am ditching school to go. This is a big step for me. I never ditched in high school or missed class in college because I didn't want to go. I think it has something to due with being OCD. I dunno. Currently my favorite U2 song is "sometimes you can't make it on your own". I almost pooped my pants when I first heard it on the first season of the OC. My wife is not doing any back flips about going to the show, as she can for a daily show of Oprah. Micah, if you lived closer you could have had her ticket. She isn't satisfying me with her limp level of excitement. Maybe..it will be one of those things she only really gets after it happens...I let the world know tommorrow.

High School Kids and Soccer Moms

This is my band...and I love them. Heres the round up. My drummer is great. He is a yoga lovin pirate with a beard like papa smurf. He is so cool that he wears shades while playing drums during church. My bass player is a hyper calvinist who has a secret love afair with the lead singer of the stray cats. He is always decked out in full rockabilly form. My acoustic guitarist is an awesome guy as well. He is a hard core druggie-turned-180-to-Jesus evangelical. He has a great ear for chords. My pianoist is a retired piano teacher. Shes has this keyboard with some interesting sounds she like to use. Last week I thought someone was blowing a austrailian long pipe behind me. Now my vocalists. All are great ladies, but no guys..huh, never thought of that. Sometimes they like to sing a few octives high like church mice, but once we work on it...they get it. I have a great sax/ flute guy who I mentored in college and three sound guys that rotate. God has totally provided everyone and everything needed for music in our church. I'm really lucky to have a full crew. Though we may not be the most talented bunch we have Jesus and we are making joyful noise! (I appoligize for my first cheezy post)

Sayings of Steve

Sayings of steve as he reflects on his sociological insights;
They would rather beat the crap out of each other than sleep with a women (referring to Oildale men)

What do you have with 24 women on the corner? a full set of teeth. (referring to Oildale ladies)

This came up after I told the following story;
I have a co-worker of 20 years, or you could say a friend of the family that is going to the pin. "Skip" is going to prison for a long time for assault with a deadly weapon. 2 years ago there was a domestic issue with his sister and her husband. His brother-in-law grazed his sister with a 8mm. Of course the story goes it accidently went off. (doesn't it always). Well, "skip" was pissed and vowed to "kick his ass" if he ever saw his brother in law again. Well, living in a small town its only a matter of time before two will collide at Walmart. "skippy" sees his brother in law in the store and goes on to tell his friend the previous vow. "skippy" being out of cash borrowed money from his friend to by a baseball bat. "Skip" then took his brother in law outside and beat his knees to no end.

Us in the Legal field call this retarted. He may of had a chance in the heat of passion getting away with this, but a meditated act two years later...no chance. Lock Him up! So, farwell "skip" maybe I'll go see you in Florence on your birthday. The real idiot is the guy who gave him $20 for a bat. Obviously his train of thought did not lead him to "accomplice to an assault with a deadly weapon".

Another downer of a gun story...
A friend of mine accidently killed himself this past week. He was drunk and playing cowboy spinning his gun (yeah, thats right HIS gun. Who the crap carries a gun) into its holster. Being drunk he accidently pulled the trigger while spinning it and took one to the fore head. It happened at a house party in CG. Moral of the two stories, hand guns are bad.

Need AC!

There is a war. A war between me and the lady who sits next to the AC thermostat. She guards the temperature. As many pass out in class from warm stale air...she sits. I try to manuver around her, but there is no scheme that could infultrate her walls. I despise the AC lady.

I'm on!

Well, I figured if I was going to communicate with the rest of the family I needed a Blog. So, to appease the masses I'm on.